Meh. Whatever, bro.

It’s a classic episode, or something. About… I didn’t bother to listen to it. It’s about something. I assume.

So, like, enjoy it. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.

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The aliens think they can just come into this country and take our jobs, get on our welfare, not pay taxes, and commit crimes! In this country!

Look, I’m not saying it’s everyone. But they’re not sending us their best gleep-glorps. They’re sending their vaporizers, their warp-jackers, and their intergalactic scum. And some of them, I assume, are good gleep-glorps. But they’re coming here to commit crimes, and anything else the media tells you is just fake news.

That’s why the gorillamen propose a wall that goes into space. A wall will certainly keep Zeta Reticulans from crossing the space-time border.

Also, I love Zeta Reticulans. The best gleep-glorp salads are made right here at gorillamen tower.

Bigly.

(also fuck that guy and his stupid baby hands)

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Christopher and Shawn are both white dudes (if you didn’t already know this, it’ll definitely become clear next week), but they’re somehow not greedy assholes. That’s one of many reasons neither of them will be elected to the Senate, because they’re just not greedy enough.

With the new tax bill that just passed with the explicit aim of funneling still more money to the richest one percent of the country, it seemed like a good time to revisit the episode they did way back when (in 1848, I think) about greed!

Sit back and enjoy this episode. It’s all yours!

*Also the audio quality on this one isn’t great. This might-could have been one of our first Skype episodes ever.

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Christopher was a Dragon! Shawn was a Thunderbird! This episode is METAL AS FUCK!

Oh, wait, no it isn’t. Those were their high school mascots. And Shawn’s wasn’t named after the mythical Native American beast, or even the massive car by Ford… nope, it was named after the Air Force Aerobatics team. NERRRRRRDDDDD.

Did the Gorillamen dig high school? Were they the kings of the commons, or the nerds no one talked to? Are they still true to their schools? What stupid voices will Shawn do this show? What traumas from Christopher’s young life with they unearth? You’ll have to listen to find out!*

*or have listened in January 2016. Whatever. Dick.

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Greetings and Felicitations, noble pod-people! Yes, I think I carried that off quite well. No way I fucked up that greeting! I am totally passing for one of you hew-mans!

Today on the magical internet radiola programme, we’re talking about all the times we fucked up! See, there’s times when you just don’t get it right, and it’s kinda your fault. But that’s OK! The Gorillamen aren’t here to judge, because, as you will learn in this podcast, we’re kind of masters of fucking up.

We start, of course, with the first time we remember fucking up, before moving to our most recent fuckups. Then we shift gears a little bit to reminisce about the last time each of us was totally effed up on chemicals or booze or the like, and cover any embarrassing things we did while in our fucked-up states!

Then we move to the last times our bodies fucked up on us, which is pretty recent for at least one of the Gorillamen. We cover our biggest fuckups, our funniest fuckups, and the worst fuckups to which we’ve borne witness, all before discussing the role of technology in fucking up and (hopefully) coming up with plans to fuck up less in the future.

Got a time when you really fucked up? Share it in the comments!

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Apologies for the late post and no new intro to this week’s classic episode. It’s been a busy week! And due to certain medical issues, it’s the first day in a long while your old pal Shawn hasn’t had any caffeine. He is addicted to caffeine.

Hmmm…. addiction would make a good episode topic! And if there’s one thing about having done 250 episodes or so, it’s that you’ve probably talked about a thing before! So this week, sit back, relax, and enjoy this classic Men in Gorilla Suits episode about addiction.

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This is Gorilla 4-1 transmitting on frequency 1-1-5. I have no idea if this transmission is reaching you in the intended year of 2016, but be warned: the future is an apocalyptic hellscape now. You remember New York in the 70s? Like that, but with slightly more mutation.

Oh. Well, shit. My scientists are telling me that the furthest back we can reach is 2017. I really wish they’d mentioned that earlier. Sooooooo…

Mmmyep.

That first thing I told you? Eh, go ahead and forget that. It was all…well, it was all true, but you can’t do shit about it now anyway. They’re saying we have like an hour of transmitting time left, so…I dunno. Here’s an old episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. Sucks that they both died when the thing happened…

I’ve said too much. End transmission.

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Chris and Shawn are FUCKED UP, yo.

No, they’re not high, or anything. Nothing that would make them seem cool. It’s more… well, when Shawn was in middle school, he saw an educational film about conditioning, and this dumb kid kept touching a hot stove burner. Christopher and Shawn are like that stupe, constantly injuring themselves in a vast array of blood and busted limbs.

Also they get sick and sometimes it’s not their fault.

But mainly stupid shit.

Enjoy this classic episode!

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Like a department store that puts its Christmas shit out waaaaaay too early, we just couldn’t hold our Halloween episode for the appropriate date (and by we, I mean Shawn). Hey, at least it’s in the correct month!

Travel back to Year One of Men in Gorilla Suits, and listen as we discuss shitty costumes, awesome candy, irrational fear of the month of October, and more! Probably!

BOO!

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What’s creepier than a clown in a sewer that eats children? How about a middle-aged Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise Operator who kills children, stashes them in his floorboards, and sometimes *dresses* like a clown?

This week, we talk about what Shawn calls Murder Shows, but the rest of the world calls True Crime TV. Marvel at bad impressions, and our heroes treating the most serious of subjects — actual people who were actually murdered — with the same tact and compassion with which they treat everything.

So you *know* that’s not gonna go well.

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If Christopher’s score this week in Fantasy Football is X, Shawn’s score can be equated thusly:

(x/2)+5.51

Which is bad. Because Shawn is bad at Fantasy Football, and he should feel bad. But he doesn’t. Because it’s all just fun and games, right?

Right?!

The Gorillamen explore these questions and (at least one) more in this week’s classic episode!

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