This is Gorilla 4-1 transmitting on frequency 1-1-5. I have no idea if this transmission is reaching you in the intended year of 2016, but be warned: the future is an apocalyptic hellscape now. You remember New York in the 70s? Like that, but with slightly more mutation.
Oh. Well, shit. My scientists are telling me that the furthest back we can reach is 2017. I really wish they’d mentioned that earlier. Sooooooo…
Mmmyep.
That first thing I told you? Eh, go ahead and forget that. It was all…well, it was all true, but you can’t do shit about it now anyway. They’re saying we have like an hour of transmitting time left, so…I dunno. Here’s an old episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. Sucks that they both died when the thing happened…
I’ve said too much. End transmission.
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